Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
