:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize