take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
