best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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