apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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