Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
