I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
