she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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