Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
