that's an acceptable place to lick
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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