Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
