now i know why i became what i already was.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pants are for mortals
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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