I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
50% drunk capacity currently
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
where are my eyebrows?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
