It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
