If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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