It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
