none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
