I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dicks are not precious.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
