Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
