I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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