You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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