He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
