his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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