i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
50% drunk capacity currently
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize