I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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