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Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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