weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
