maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
