If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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