dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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