you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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