I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
