I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
