She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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