margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
