Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
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he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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