I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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