i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize