Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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