I wish I could punch you in the face.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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