i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
