my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
there is glitter all over my balls
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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