I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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