Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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