After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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