My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
