I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
