help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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