Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
