Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
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I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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