Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
