Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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