Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
