i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
