3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?