Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
