Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I smell stomach acid.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
