Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
