We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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