my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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